MY
STORY
Hi!!!!! I'm Rebecca the creator of my love-child RrM Studios, come and get to know me!
Nice to meet you, my name is Rebecca and I'm a 29 yr old home decor designer and small business owner based in Leeds! I design and create handmade polymer clay florals and transform overlooked charity shop vases into home decor treasures. I am so beyond passionate about making pieces that make a home a happy place. I am obsessed with my garden, it is my sanctuary and nature's magic in its entirety is a huge influence within my work. After being made redundant from my retail management role at the end of 2023, I made the very scary decision to dive head first and try and make my creative side hustle, a full-time dream.​​​​​
How I got here
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In 2015 I left my family home in Durham to study Fine Art at Leeds University of Art. I fell in love with Leeds and also fell in love with my now Fiance here, so I never left! I was drawn to expressionist painting as it felt like a very freeing art form to me, painting gestures that captured tangible feelings. I definitely lacked confidence in my choices as an artist, so I was drawn to ideas of some chance involved in my poured paintings. Regardless there was something addictive about creating art that preserved a one off moment of conscience never to be repeated. And it was these painterly patterns that would eventually go on to inspire my first painted plant pot.
In 2020, lockdown was in full swing, as was my houseplant OBSESSION and I decided to paint myself a plant pot. It's actually wild how one small decision like that can change your entire trajectory, because from that #stayhome activity, my side-hustle began. Shout out to all the lockdown small business babies!!! On and off I sold painted plant pots alongside my job at Wilko, that I was too scared to leave, because why put yourself out there when you can feel like you're wasting your potential everyday!!!!! I did get to look after the plants so lowkey winning? I was selling plant pots like hot-cakes and it all happened completely by accident!
Plant pots turned into airbrushed vases and then I discovered my current fave medium, polymer clay!! However, somewhere along the line after lockdown lifted things went west, with 2022 being peak car crash. Despite my love of creating, the only thing that motivated me to make things, was to try and make people think I wasn't wasting my life in 'not a proper job'. I had totally lost the magic of making things simply because it brought me joy, which is how it all started. I felt behind and so burnt out, all the whilst trying to appear like I wasn't in complete crisis most days. I was in this constant cycle of emotional meltdowns, feeling total shame, trying to prove to everyone I wasn't a complete mess, burning out from pretending and then back to the dreaded meltdown (dw that diagnosis is coming). It's actually so difficult to sum up this era, I keep wanting to back space THE LOT. But I was just completely lost. I felt like I didn't belong anywhere and had convinced myself that everyone would be happier without me - I just want to grab that girls hand jesus CHRIST. As scary as this was, after way too long of just surviving, feeling like I had lost everything became kind of cathartic, like the only option was to try and have a complete life overhaul - because there was nothing to lose?
In 2023 me and partner (who deserves a medal) bought our first home (with a garden!!!), moved out of our flat (exhale) and it was time to start over. We welcomed home Tizzy and Ziki, my emotional support kittens - now turned RrM employees. In the same year I was (insert fanfare) diagnosed with ADHD, and for the first time everything began to make sense. A few months after my diagnosis, I got the news that Wilko was closing all of their stores. As daunting as this was, I had this overwhelming feeling like it was finally my time, it really felt like a sign. Usually people build a business then leave their 9-5, not the other way around, so was this a completely stupid idea?? Probably!!! But I knew it was the necessary step to find me and heal doing something I loved. I said to myself after my diagnosis I was going to try ONE MORE TIME and that was how RrM studios was born. Mind you, there was still lots of surviving and not thriving. In the beginning definitely wanted to portray myself as a strong small business owner when in reality I was just a girl who was last chance life saloon-ing, hoping to become this brave entrepreneur if I pretended for long enough. Because duh, masking my true self was obviously the cure for an undiagnosed lifetime of... masking my true self!!! Nevertheless, I converted my garage into a studio space and came out with my first collection as RrM studios, officially!
Since then I've continued transforming 100s of ceramics, saving them from landfill - and you guys seem to like them! I've been completely immersed in creating new designs, learning any and every process I can and just discovering what I can achieve next. There's always a new design swirling around my head that I can't wait to see if I can make. More recently, I've created my everlasting polymer-clay bunches, which have had such a great response! I'm forever thinking of the next flower to develop (there's a massive list) and the endless possibilities keep me awake, in the best way.
As for me personally, I really feel like I'm on the right path now. I think a huge thing with late diagnosis is just trying to grieve the time when it didn't make sense and forgiving the you that didn't know better. There's been lots of reconnecting with little Rebecca, before she ever felt like she needed to mask and doing things that would make her happy. Putting myself out there to be perceived does still make me recoil and contemplate burying my head in the sand. But really, I don't want to hide anymore, and despite still being totally terrified, I don't think I would be at that stage now if it wasn't for RrM studios. We help each other grow truly! So, now we're being honest I have NO clue if this venture will work out, what I do know is that I am so incredibly happy that I tried one more time. This is far from a romanticized transformation story, I am still absolutely growing, unlearning, relearning and being occasionally unhinged, all whilst trying to grow a business. It has just felt like a story I needed to set free. But like, at the same time.. what if it all works out!!!!
Hi thanks for making it this far!!!! If there's anything to take away from this unsolicited trauma dump it's that PLEASE unsubscribe from shame, it kills your soul. Please do things you love loudly, EXPRESS YOURSELF, get excited, tell everyone and don't hide how giddy you are. Don't wait to become a version of yourself that you wish you were, just be. Just whatever you do, do not hide. You are never too far gone and never too late. Oh and if you have any friends on their diagnosis journey, please please make an effort to be in their life and understand, the stats are frightening and you could make a difference.